Tiddlywampuses Love Infomercials

They awaken at the crack of dawn, tiptoe down stairs, confiscate a box of Fruit Loops from the kitchen and snuggle up on the comfy living room couch. One holds the box of cereal, the other a crayon, pad of paper and the television remote. It's not cartoons they wake for at this hour, it's the overwhelming love they have for their mother and the desire to make her life easier.

They do this for me.

They write the descriptions of fabulous new devices - sweepers that use no bags, just water and can clean up any messes they make. A divider I can put in my purse so I'll never loose my cell phone again. A toothpaste dispenser that hangs on the wall - "You can even use it if you have a broken arm!" Clothes Steamers, Sweepers that can suck the dirt out from under the carpet, bugs, insects...anything! Hair gadgets - "when you try to make your hair fluffy, it just stays flat - with bumpits your will hair stay up and won't fall down. You'll look beautiful, Mommy!" Giant Cupcakes, Clothes hangers that dry your clothes "even when they're soaking wet! It dries them as fast as possible!"
"The hot steam mop does anything! Cleans your stairs-it has a pointer to clean by toilets and you can wash the washer by just putting it in the washing machine. Well, you can't use it on your glasses or ceilings though."
The responsible little stinkers never forget the prices either, $49.99, $19.95 or 3 easy payments of $29.95! And their coresponding 1-800 numbers. They assure me that I must call as soon as possible and they'll send a second one for free. "For free, Mama, free!"

When asked in school what her Mommy did for a living, #1 was proud to say thar her Mama was "an artist, and she likes to clean." Likes to clean??? I guess when they see me cleaning all day long, dishes, mopping, laundry, sucking Fruit Loops out of the couch cushions, this is a correct assumption made by a 7 year old.

My girls are so special, and just the fact that they started saving their money in a ziplock bag under their bed for the $69 magical sweeper with the pointy thing on the end that sucks up anything, so I never have to clean ever,ever again...that means the world to me. But I would have been happy with a Bumpit.